After diligently taking pictures each month and writing this post, months 1 and 4 aren't working on here. Just trust me that I have them and enjoy the rest :)

A year ago at this exact time I was headed to the hospital as I had been in labor for 18 hours and it seemed that baby girl was on her way! Today was Thanksgiving last year and it was the most special day! After laboring quite awhile, a scary time when they couldn't get her heartbeat down, an emergency c- section and a brief stay in the NICU, Josie entered our life and has filled the last year with so much (needed) JOY!

It has been quite the year. Days before Josie was born we were asked by the Navigators to move to UW-Whitewater. We spent the first 6 months of Josie's life caring for a newly-walking 1 1/2 year old and a crazy spit up newborn. We were scrunched in our old house- Josie's crib in our room, the changing table in the dining room, Noah's dresser in the basement and his clothes upstairs by his office. We were cozy but filled with SO much love.

Ellie took to being a big sister right away and has been amazing all along. (We frequently here her say "You are so cute baby sister. You're a cute little girl. I love you cute little girl. Or "How did you sleep little girl? I love you Josie Kate"

We wrapped up life in Champaign, spent two weekends in Chicago celebrating my brother's graduation and wedding and then headed to Wisconsin. We moved into our first house and are so grateful!

The second half of Josie's first year was spent enjoying our new town and home and watching Ellie & Josie learn to interact. We are all grateful for our own rooms :-) And have made lots of memories already in Whitewater!

A month ago, the day before Josie turned 11 months, I was diagnosed with MS and our life has changed. It feels like the rug got slipped out from under us. I went from being a full-time mom of a 2 year old and almost 1 year old to being a side-line caretaker and manager of our family. We have a lot to learn but still so much to be thankful for.

All that to say, as I look back on Josie's first year of life I realize it was very FULL. As much as I have loved every moment with HER I feel like we have been on a roller coaster and Josie has simply been along for the ride. :)

This last month has been beyond-words hard. Someday I'll look back and wonder how we made it through, but in the meantime I am doing my best to keep life normal for the girls and to ENJOY the everyday moments.

Josie has been the JOY that The Lord knew my heart needed throughout all of the twists and turns of the last year.

We love you more than you'll ever know Josie. And we NEED you in our family. We joyfully celebrate your birthday tomorrow, but more than that we celebrate the blessing of your life.

One of the sweetest memories from the last few weeks was when I was rocking you before bed and almost crying but trying to hold it together while I read to you. I started singing "Jesus Love the Litlte Ones Like Me" and you caught on to the actions right away.

When I have been down, I can start singing that song to you and you smile and do the actions. You remind me that Jesus loves YOU and he loves Ellie and he loves me and Daddy. He loves us all and we can "Trust Jesus with All Your heart" (one of Ellie's verses)!

We love you Jos. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Our blog has been quiet but our life has not! As you've likely heard, Katie was diagnosed with MS. Needless to say we've been very occupied! These last few days have felt closer to normal than the rest of the last month combined.

I feel my heart stabilizing a bit in these last few days, probably in thanks to your prayers.  As this has happened, I've had a little more room to think about all these things philosophically.  I've been thinking about the whole topic of suffering, specifically for us, and in general.  (If you're brain doesn't work in this way, just hang on with me to the end :)

Suffering is a weird thing.  Everyone undergoes it to greater and lesser degrees throughout their lives. When I see the continued outpouring of love and support each day that we receive, it brings paradoxical feelings.  I can almost feel guilty, thinking about many people in this world undergoing suffering much more intense than what we're facing (easy for me to say, not being the one experiencing the physical symptoms :).  At the same time, without all this love and support from you and help from the Lord, I have no idea how we could have survived the last month.  What a strange thing suffering is!  In the past month, life has become totally different, yet it is still the same- we are still the same people.  The future is quite uncertain, yet it is quite hopeful.  What a mishmash of thoughts and feelings!

Two or three years back we were teaching students from the book of Philippians and I came across this verse:

For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake...   -Philippians 1:29 ESV

This verse has been on my mind a lot.  Looking at the passage in context, Paul is clearly talking about suffering brought on by persecution for the sake of Christ- but I believe that this passage is also true in a broader sense:

Here's my paraphrase of Paul:
God has given you a gift, an obvious one we often remember:  faith in Christ!  But He's given you another of similar importance, one that we often forget:  that you would suffer for His sake!

So faith and suffering are gifts?  Would I describe this current season in that way?

I need to chew on that some more.  But I do know this:  I've never felt more loved and cared for by the body of Christ than I do now; and I'm more confident than ever in God's goodness and faithfulness and presence.  (I hesitate to write this because I know I'm not above calling these into question.  This may happen at some point.  But this is where I'm at right now.)

With our trials has come an incredible outpouring of love and grace.  My heart resonates with this hymn by Annie Johnson Flint, a woman who suffered severe physical ailments most of her life.

He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength when the labors increase,
To added affliction He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half-done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources,
Our Father’s full giving is only begun

His love has no limit, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men,
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus,
He giveth and giveth and giveth again.

For more good thoughts on suffering, take a listen to this.

Thank you for being the hands and feet and heart of Jesus to us!

-Noah

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