Is there something wrong with me that I don't mind this season of hibernation? Last year I was flat on my back during it and so the dark evenings and "stuck in the home" feeling wasn't so bad. I couldn't drive and if I did, I didn't have the energy to get the kids in and out of the car any more than absolutely necessary. So hibernation was good. But this year, I thought I would really dread the winter. So cold, so many mittens and hats and coats involved in every outing. Dark cold LONG nights. Ugh. But to be honest, I liked it. I like being "cooped up" at home in the evenings- the girls thing its reasonable to be in PJs at 6:30 and we read a lot of books together. A LOT of books. I really enjoyed hibernating. And I honestly wasn't too eager to come out of hibernation.
But this week happened- and as well all know- you look around and everyone is cheerful .The sun is shining. We are in awe we don't need coats. The time changed. It's light way into the evening. The snow has melted SO rapidly (Sunday on our walk we had to simply pass by the park as it was COVERED in snow). In fact we had to carry the girls and their strollers half the way as the sidewalks had deep snow. And now today we are playing as if the snow has been gone for months (even though there is still snow lingering in many corners of the neighborhood). The neighbor kids are playing, the doorbell is ringing more often, the lawn chairs have come out, the strollers (all four of them) are out. And we can hardly remember that last week we were hibernating. And it has yet again confirmed- I really really love all four seasons. I enjoyed the winter, but I enjoy Spring all the more because of winter. If it was 40 degrees and sunny all year long I don't think we would all be grilling and throwing porch parties ;-)
So it has been a good week. A year ago Josie couldn't walk (hard to believe!) and so getting out wasn't near as fun. Let's be honest, I couldn't walk long either. So this spring has an extra new newness to it. In fact, I even let the girls walk yesterday in rain boots and splash in puddles (Usually they are wearing tennis shoes as Ellie has to wear her braces all the time and so I'm busily deterring them from messes, mud and puddles.) But Josie was pushing her Baby Stella- and for the first time discovered a puddle. It was the best- to watch her stomp her foot and then see how it splashed. Every stomp she paused and said "woah". As if she couldn't believe what she saw- so she had to do it again. Then today we went to the Madison Children's Museum- and I watched the girls and their cousins explore, learn, create to their hearts content.
I feel like I've come not only out of hibernation of winter, or a long 18 months of having to say NO to so much in an attempt to stay within the limitations of MS in my life, but honestly I feel like I'm coming out of almost 4 years of parenting in which I've felt like I'm in survival mode.
First it was Ellie being born- the best thing in the world, but being a new mom is not for the faint of heart. Just when I thought we were getting things under control and I could go out and about without a lot of trouble- baby Ellie in tow- we found out we were having another little baby. Ms Ellie was only 11 months old, and so began life while pregnant, with a little one. Many say chasing a toddler while pregnant is the hardest- I may have to disagree and say- caring for a non- mover is quite hard too. She would fuss for every toy she couldn't reach (meaning I had to get it for her) she couldn't stand on her own til I was 7 months pregnant- so i was carrying her CONSTANTLY - in and out of stores and the car and the house and everywhere we went. Her + My pregnancy weight = I was carrying an additional 60+ lbs! Then we had a baby- which included an emergency c- section, the start of life in the NICU, and a baby that spit up more than you can imagine. Oh, and a very newly walking 1 1/2 year old. Just when we got settled, we moved to Whitewater. {That's a whole post in and of itself- packing your life and moving to a new state with a 2 year old and a 7 month old } TIRING! Another season of survival mode. And after buying and moving into our beautiful new home... just 4 months later I was diagnosed with MS. And was flat on my back requiring a LOT of help for a long time.
So I truly feel like I'm coming out of hibernation in so many ways. For some of the first times in parenting I feel like I'm not just surviving- but really I have some margin. And some mental space. And I feel like myself, and that is wonderful. :-)
All that to say, I'm looking around my life with a new joy, a new appreciation and a new wonder for the day to day life - we are overflowing with blessings and we are grateful.
But this week happened- and as well all know- you look around and everyone is cheerful .The sun is shining. We are in awe we don't need coats. The time changed. It's light way into the evening. The snow has melted SO rapidly (Sunday on our walk we had to simply pass by the park as it was COVERED in snow). In fact we had to carry the girls and their strollers half the way as the sidewalks had deep snow. And now today we are playing as if the snow has been gone for months (even though there is still snow lingering in many corners of the neighborhood). The neighbor kids are playing, the doorbell is ringing more often, the lawn chairs have come out, the strollers (all four of them) are out. And we can hardly remember that last week we were hibernating. And it has yet again confirmed- I really really love all four seasons. I enjoyed the winter, but I enjoy Spring all the more because of winter. If it was 40 degrees and sunny all year long I don't think we would all be grilling and throwing porch parties ;-)
So it has been a good week. A year ago Josie couldn't walk (hard to believe!) and so getting out wasn't near as fun. Let's be honest, I couldn't walk long either. So this spring has an extra new newness to it. In fact, I even let the girls walk yesterday in rain boots and splash in puddles (Usually they are wearing tennis shoes as Ellie has to wear her braces all the time and so I'm busily deterring them from messes, mud and puddles.) But Josie was pushing her Baby Stella- and for the first time discovered a puddle. It was the best- to watch her stomp her foot and then see how it splashed. Every stomp she paused and said "woah". As if she couldn't believe what she saw- so she had to do it again. Then today we went to the Madison Children's Museum- and I watched the girls and their cousins explore, learn, create to their hearts content.
I feel like I've come not only out of hibernation of winter, or a long 18 months of having to say NO to so much in an attempt to stay within the limitations of MS in my life, but honestly I feel like I'm coming out of almost 4 years of parenting in which I've felt like I'm in survival mode.
First it was Ellie being born- the best thing in the world, but being a new mom is not for the faint of heart. Just when I thought we were getting things under control and I could go out and about without a lot of trouble- baby Ellie in tow- we found out we were having another little baby. Ms Ellie was only 11 months old, and so began life while pregnant, with a little one. Many say chasing a toddler while pregnant is the hardest- I may have to disagree and say- caring for a non- mover is quite hard too. She would fuss for every toy she couldn't reach (meaning I had to get it for her) she couldn't stand on her own til I was 7 months pregnant- so i was carrying her CONSTANTLY - in and out of stores and the car and the house and everywhere we went. Her + My pregnancy weight = I was carrying an additional 60+ lbs! Then we had a baby- which included an emergency c- section, the start of life in the NICU, and a baby that spit up more than you can imagine. Oh, and a very newly walking 1 1/2 year old. Just when we got settled, we moved to Whitewater. {That's a whole post in and of itself- packing your life and moving to a new state with a 2 year old and a 7 month old } TIRING! Another season of survival mode. And after buying and moving into our beautiful new home... just 4 months later I was diagnosed with MS. And was flat on my back requiring a LOT of help for a long time.
So I truly feel like I'm coming out of hibernation in so many ways. For some of the first times in parenting I feel like I'm not just surviving- but really I have some margin. And some mental space. And I feel like myself, and that is wonderful. :-)
All that to say, I'm looking around my life with a new joy, a new appreciation and a new wonder for the day to day life - we are overflowing with blessings and we are grateful.
