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Lessons

4/4/2013

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When I arrived home from the hospital with Josie, I was overwhelmed to say the least.  It was me (recovering from an unexpected c-section 2 days prior), a new-on-her feet 1 year old and a newborn. I remember my mom telling me,  "You'll be fine as long as you focus on taking care of the girls and don't try to get anything else done." 

That's harder to do than I thought.
That means not unloading the dishwasher or throwing in one quick load of laundry.
That means not keeping up on emails or making that one "important phone call"
That means not planning play dates or inviting students over to meet.
That means not trying to make cookies quick or update my blog (both things I love :))
All of those things fall in the "anything other than taking care of the girls" category.

And so, I did my best to focus on taking care of the girls, and nothing else.

As time passed, I've had to learn how to re-add in my normal life activities and figure out what to let go of. (Did you know that the bathroom is still usable, even if it hasn't been cleaned for a month? Did you know you can still sleep in your bed even if it hasn't been made from the night before?) :)

Here we are four months later, and I find that my best days are the days that I don't expect to get much else done other than caring for the girls.  As soon as I get high hopes and expect to use nap time to make supper, I guarantee their naps won't overlap.  As soon as I get excited to take a long shower, I promise Ellie will wake an hour earlier than normal.  

It's better for me to just expect to change diapers, clean up spit up, change diapers, change Josie's clothes, discipline Ellie, change diapers, get a snack for Ellie, change my clothes, change diapers, etc.  

Then I'm really grateful when I get a few minutes to call a friend.  I'm excited when I get time to actually wash all of the laundry that's accumulating. I'm thankful when Ellie and I get to do something special like make brownies or do a craft.  I find myself blessed to hold Josie as she watches Ellie play and I'm not (as) whiny if the house stays dirty and I don't get a nap.

This isn't to say I don't get time to accomplish things.  In fact, I really value getting to meet with students, attend our Small Group, catch up on emails, etc.  I've learned how to maximize my energy and eliminate things that zap my time, but I have to live -eyes fixed on Jesus, holding my desires with an open hand.

It's not easy to live day by day, moment by moment.  But I find when I seek The Lord and ask Him for grace.  He gives it, over and over again.  Am I exhausted? Of course! Am I overwhelmed? Oftentimes I am.  But am I grateful and very blessed? YES and YES!
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