Today I've felt like Ellie. I'm tired. I'm sad. I am trying to control my emotions, but it's hard. This morning in the Jesus Calling devotional book (Thanks Matt & Julia!) I read this, "Let me prepare you fore the day that awaits you and point you in the right direction. I am with you continually, so don't be intimidated by fear. Though it stalks you, it can't harm you as long as you cling to my hand."
This was so me. Fear is stalking me. I am doing okay, but I'm afraid. Afraid of not making friends, afraid of being sad, afraid of Ellie not adjusting well, afraid of being insufficient on campus, afraid of all of the changes ahead, mostly afraid of not liking it here.
The Lord continues to tell me I AM YOUR REFUGE! I continue to take refuge in Jesus the best that I know how. When I picture Jesus as my refuge, I picture being safe. No matter how I feel or what is going on around me, I will be okay with Jesus as my refuge.
But then today I read Psalm 5:11
"But let all who take refuge in you be GLAD; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you."
It just hit me. When I take refuge in Jesus, not only will I be safe, but I will be full of JOY! I haven't even been asking for joy, I've just been asking to be okay.
So today my prayer has become a pray for JOY! I feel very weak today. But, I'm learning from my two-year old and I have a new plea, "Please Jesus, Please Daddy, Please Abba Father, Please Father God, PLEASE, I ask for joy in your presence! I plead for joy as I take refuge in you! "